


This games winner is...

by Experiment282



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Comedy, Competition, Crack, Friendship, Gaming, Gems play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Gen, One Shot, Rivalry, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29388882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Experiment282/pseuds/Experiment282
Summary: What is it with Quartzes and Video Games?
Relationships: Jasper & Steven Universe
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	This games winner is...

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Unfamiliar Familiar Bookclub Discords Palentines Day event. Enjoy!

There was something with Quartzes and their addictions to the thrill. Sports was good for the physical outlet, but their absolute field of dominance were Video Games. Anything that would have them focus on actions, explosions and a flash of colours.

The word Quartz could be synonymous for fun. Most of them anyway. Amethyst would set up game tournaments. Humans could join in if they so wanted. She'd set up different tourneys with different consoles. Bismuth had dedicated an entire building with a giant hall with multiple consoles and PCs (thanks to Greg who contributed to the expensive pool of gaming necessities.)

Steven used to play a lot, but some of the Quartzes would get super competitive. And verbal. And destructive. So they had to put rules in place for bad behaviour.

Which was fine.

Until.

Steven was busy setting up snacks (Quartzes like spicy kabana for some reason so he had three plates full of them.) and cleaning the hall for the next Smash tournament. A tag team Championship where the winners would get a Golden Belt each. It wasn't always the Quartzes who would get involved. Peridot would play and even the Heaven and Earth Beetles (he didn't understand how they could manage when the joy cons were bigger than they were.) The former would jump between characters since she was obsessed with tiers with the latter using Ice Climbers. Garnet had already been banned from playing since she could easily cheat, so Ruby would play in her stead, preferring to play Incineroar. Pearl didn't play that often, but she would play as Lucina. As for Amethyst? She liked using Kirby and trolled with down B all the time.

Once he was done, he met up with Amethyst who was busy on a whiteboard and trying to figure out each player and who to partner them with. Pouting, she was having a hard to time deciding the pairs. The matches were items off and always in Battlefield mode.

"Have you tried just drawing names out of a hat?" Steven suggested.

She hit the marker on her puffed cheek, squinting at the board, before her eyes rolled to look at Steven like he was a damn genius.

Moments later, Steven had a transformed into a hat Amethyst put on the table next to the board and had started picking up participants name, one by one.

"Okay we have...Lace Amethyst and Orange Spodumene." He announced, before placing their names as the first match up. Those two were close friends if he recalled correctly.

"They will fight...Peridot and Larimar."

Okay that sounded good. Steven had to make sure Peridot behaved herself.

"Then we haaaave....."

The rest of the matches were matched evenly and it was set to be a fun time. Until...

"Now we only have...huh? There's only one left?"

Looks like they didn't count the names evenly. Steven pulled out the last name.

_Jasper._

"Jasper? She doesn't get a team mate?" He questioned.

Amethyst changed back into her normal form and snickered.

"Bruh just give Jasper an Amiibo. Don't you have a Peach Amiibo you always brag about?'

Yes but that was besides the point. He would sometimes main Peach, but occasionally main Zelda. Both were so pretty and magical in his opinion.

"I doubt Peach will be fair." Steven said.

"Plus I don't want her destroying it in case she loses...or worse...she gets wiped and Peach is left standing."

He knew that from experience.

"Then you play as Peach then." Amethyst said.

What?

"Huh?" Steven stated, confused as he scratched his head.

Amethyst made a habit of slipping in Steven where she wanted him. What if she intended this to happen?

"Wait, you _wanted_ me to team up with Jasper didn't you?'

Amethyst furrowed her brows, offended on how he could suggest such a heinous crime. 

"Of course not!" She cried out, then gave out a devious grin.

"But Jasper worships the ground you walk on, My Diamond."

Ugh...don't remind him.

"Amethyst, I swear to Master Hand if you keep doing that..." Steven said, exasperated by that title.

Amethyst chuckled, knowing how much that name pissed him off.

"Relax bruh...that's mild to the cursing."

Oh right...the swear words Amethyst had told them about. When Gems rage, Amethyst for what ever reason encouraged them to express themselves through expletives to help them feel better. Pearl did not approve. 

"Either that or kiss your Amiibo good bye."

Not his precious Amiibo. It's taken him years to get them all; avoiding scalpers and the like. He would rather risk his dignity then lose his precious toys to life figures. Especially Peach.

"Fine I'll do it." Steven grumbled.

"But if I win, you have to do my Animal Crossing Chores for a week!"

Amethyst's eyes widened as she gasped so dramatically that her jaw literally hit the flaw, and the sound of a devastating violin played as rose petals fell out of nowhere as some kind of weird symbolism resembling her despair. The shock, the horror!

She found that game incredibly boring. There was no violence. Only the joy of hitting villagers heads with the net.

"Fine." She said, crossing her arms and acting all high and mighty. But then there was the essence of evil about her, the air becoming red for some reason as the devious meter skyrocketed.

"You lose, _you_ have to play.....Doom!"

Steven mimicked Amethyst's expression, aghast at her heinous selection. He wasn't a fan of blood and guts and gore personally. Oh now he didn't want to lose.

He squinted at her and for what ever reason could hear that old western whistle like tune when people were due to face off together in a duel, complete with random tumbleweed that rolled past them for some reason.

"Woops, left the door open." Steven said, then refocused on Amethyst, as he put his finger near her chest.

"But you've got a deal."

* * *

The day of the tourney. A lot of people showed up. Gems. Humans. All extremely keen.

Participants would find out via the white board who they were with and who they were up against. Jasper pushed through a horde to see who she was with, leaning over and squinting.

"Lesse..." She uttered, rubbing her chin. Her eyes widened as she gasped.

"My Diamond? You're."...

She looked behind herself to see Steven then and nodding towards her.

"Yup." He said, his voice almost breaking. To himself, he was absolutely terrified.

If anything, it got Jasper excited, scrunching her fist and grinning like a devious Bowser.

"Oh great...we're gonna win this easy."

If only...

The matches began shortly after. The crowd in itself watching each match in anticipation. The matches Jasper and Steven have weren't all too bad. She loved using Ridley, which looked odd compared to Steven's Peach. Something about the Space Dragon and it's penchant for destruction enamoured her, though she was tempted to play as Ganondorf or Bowser, but ultimately Ridley's Final Smash was delicious.When it came to the matches Jasper, sportsmanship left a lot to be desired; especially after their first match with Ronaldo and Topaz, nicknaming the former squishy and the latter 

According to Amethyst, Jasper played a lot of Apex, tried League of Legends but got banned for obscenities and threats and calling everyone meatbags. Among other unsavoury comments. Amethyst tried to get her to use dirtwads but it never stuck.

Their matches were going better than expected, though Steven felt bad and second hand embarrassment from Jaspers constant taunting and to shield them both when Ruby cracked it and threw the Pro Controller at the unruly Quartz, only for Sapphire to drag her back an Amethyst saving the controller with a timely wrapped whip.

Jasper wasn't the only hot-headed one it seemed.

Steven felt the eyes all over him. Not for the love but for the sheer the collective hatred (that was just directed at Jasper...he so hoped) of those asses they had kicked in battle. Steven spent as much time out of their in between fights trying to keep his sanity, and keeping a shortleash on Jasper (though Amethyst once suggested an actual collar and leash then decided that was going too far...and that Jasper probably would have liked that too much.)

Thankfully, given her subservience, his command kept her from going _too_ crazy...so he told her to just eat the kabana on the table and shut up until their next match.

It came to the wire where it they had made it to the finals. The fact that Steven reigned in Jasper as much as he did was a testament as it was; comparing it wildfire that had spread for miles and yet still being able to douse it. Except spontaneous combustion would just relight it again.

That was Jasper in a nutshell.

Still the thought of actually getting to the finals with at least one (okay two) controllers broken was a miracle unto itself. (okay it was three), But now, the Ultimate Smash Battle had arrived;

The Grand Final itself was between them...

and...Amethyst and Connie?

To be honest Steven hadn't been paying attention to know that they were competing. His aim to keep Jasper entertained while everyone else was playing was his goal.

The two stood there, smirking with their hands on their hips like they were the smuggiest smugs that ever smugged.

" _Connie..._ " Steven muttered in shock.

A name that caused Jasper to grumble, arms crossed as she rolled her eyes. Her displeasure and arrogance waving in your face like trying to clip bedsheets on a clothesline on a windy day.

Then that cowboy tune played out of nowhere again as Amethyst chewed on gum and spat in on the floor in front of Steven. Tumbleweed said hello and goodbye.

"Gotta stick to it, scrub." Amethyst taunted.

Does he really have to fight his girlfriend?

"Sorry Steven....not sorry." Connie joked with a snicker.

He wanted to cry; because Connie was super good at this game.

"We got this my Diamond." Jasper said, putting her hand on his shoulder as she tried to encourage him.

"We can beat this runt and puny human."

Steven gulped. Oh geez.

"Uh sure. Sure."

Jasper leaned down and got too close to comfort.

"Or else do you want to play Doom?" She whispered.

No no no no, anything but that!

"I'm good, I'm good." Steven claimed.

"Let's do this! No mercy!"

The battle began. Amethyst had chosen Kirby while Connie favoured sword-fighters. She had plenty to choose from and never saw what the criticism was about regarding the amount of sword fighters in the game, a good percentage from Fire Emblem. Connie liked using Link anyway...not ignoring the original Smash sword fighter.

It was tense. The crowd had been super into it. The room even darkened as the spotlight was on the Smash Battle to end all Smash Battles. Stock 3 for all. Connie often critiqued Steven's use of Peach when he could have gone for Zelda, when he retorted Connie could have gone for Toon Link (though Steven ended up using Zelda anyway.) Amethyst said she liked Daisy better due to her attitude and Jasper responded that Kirby was just a menace with an identity crisis; saying that eating other characters for their abilities was just a cheap tactic to make a weak player stronger.

People filmed not necessarily for the match but the amount of smack that the teams gave each other. Down to two stock a piece. Rowdy and loud. Half the crowd went for Team Steven and the other for Team Amethyst. Like the Gym Battle music from Pokemon Sword and Shield when Pokemon Dynamax, there was a lot of singing, enough to deafen most humans.

"GET EM STEVEN!" Peridot cried, almost breaking her voice. Being careless about her surroundings like always, she was pressing her hand against Peedee's head which almost had him slipping off the chair.

"TEAR THEM _APAAAART!_ "

Steven was surprised she was supported them, or rather him...to begin with, given much trouble Jasper alone got into it. Though Peridot herself was guilty of stream sniping and pissing Jasper off so...

Speaking of guilty parties, Steven had been so focused on _not_ dying, that he wasn't even aware how everyone had become so volatile. Snacks being thrown everywhere...the toxicity spread throughout. How or where...everyone was just as bad as each other. Even Pearl.

Smash Bros. turned people into monsters.

When it came down to it, on the last stock...it was Ridley that clawed into Kirby and threw him off the stage at his 200%, while Link used a bomb to send a 369% Ridley flying off screen. He was toughed, but not invincible.

This was it.

Zelda VS Link.

Steven VS Connie

"You're going down Universe!" Connie taunted.

Oh no he wasn't.

Link had more bulk and Zelda was at a chipper 50%. Though once Connie began to use a combo of arrows and bombs for distance, it wasn't long until Zelda was at 125%. Steven did score enough hits to get Link at 94%, but he was harder to hit. Steven tried to keep his distance, though he almost panicked when a bomb almost exploded near him, but he used up b to get away just in time.

He couldn't relax. Not when he was so close. He felt Jasper's head next to his, as she had knelt down next to him with her hands tight on his shoulders, eyes wide in awe of how well (or how bad, depending on who you asked) he was doing, giving words of encouragement and telling him to beat the stardust out of that puny boy.

It was different from hearing her curse, however. She told him left, go left, right, jump attack. Doing as she instructed helped him a lot. He was not used to backseat gaming and this stage he needed it.

"NOW!"

He almost jumped out of his seat as he randomly teleported into Link, not intending so and his heart drop.

"Crud!"

Connie smirked as she powered up a forward smash, intent to strike...

Until.

_A Wild Smash Ball appeared._

The whole room gasped as the small colourful ball moved around the screen.

"I thought we turned off items!" Connie complained.

Apparently not.

Steven grinned. 

"It was always a small chance and it was only ever the Smash Ball." Amethyst said, though she'd never classified the Smash Ball as a item, for some reason.

"Quickly!"

Connie changed direction and instead tried to climb her way up.

Though Steven used this to his advantage. The ball itself drifted up consistently, while Link tried his best, ultimately due to Zelda's reach, that she broke the ball.

" _Shit._ " Connie uttered. She did not utter that word all too often; a telling point on how fundamentally screwed she was.

Dodged as she tried to, Link was too slow for Zelda and she went dead silent as Steven unleashed the Light Arrows in all their golden glory; the power itself pummelling into Link which sent him off screen and face smacking hard onto the fourth wall.

-

It was super quiet at first. People were holding their breaths, so more than others that almost passed out. That tumbleweed had returned once more, just checking in on things before heading back out.

"THIS GAMES WINNER IS...."

They did it...

They _actually_ did it!

Jasper was so over the moon she couldn't help but pick up her Diamond by his arms and swing him about. Steven was too shocked to see Jasper actually celebrating in such a joyous fashion...and she was laughing.

Now he was really scared.

"That didn't count!" Connie complained.

"That fight wasn't supposed to have items!"

Jasper stopped mid dance, frozen as she hooked eyes with Steven.

"That's not our fault!" Jasper said, defending their match.

"We won fair and square! Give us our belts you weaklings!"

Steven could see the absolute loathing expression had right about now, muttering herself, then arguing with Connie about the whole ordeal about how the stars she didn't think the Smash Ball was an item. Meanwhile Peridot interrupted them and joyfully handed the belts to the winners.

"Congrats!" She said to Steven.

"I never get tired of that Final Smash!"

Steven grinned and he and Jasper put on the belts; with middle golden part with the Smash symbol on it that gleamed in the light.

The two gave each other a high five for a job well...sorta...decent done?

* * *

Everyone else decided to party on that night...forgetting about their rivalries for the while and just letting themselves loose. Though Connie was still salty, standing to the side and watching Steven and Jasper get all the attention.

She was about to leave when Steven grabbed her before she left, wanting to apologise. Though he shouldn't; he was playing fair as far as they were concerned.

"Hey great match today!" He said.

Connie rolled her eyes. What was it with everyone doing that today?

"Yeah yeah..." She said, the energy being sucked out of her like a Kirby was nearby.

"You won."

Steven went all smug and flirty. He didn't want to feel bad. But he did. Kinda. The tiniest morsel. Like he ate a poison mushroom and his guilt absorbed it.

"Don't I get a victory kiss?" He said, poking his cheek.

Connie was in no mood to so, but he was lucky she loved him.

"Fine..." She replied.

So Connie begrudgingly gave him a peck, before he snorted. He was up to no good.

"Okay, so tomorrow morning, bright and early..." He said, bringing up his arrogant pedestal for his ego.

"You and Amethyst..."

A palm went to her face. She was told of the consquences. They weren't the worst...was that Connie had been too busy wrapped up in Hades to get back into Animal Crossing.

"Yeah I know, I know." She said, exasperated.

"I'll be there...sheesh."

* * *

The next day, after the hall was cleaned (and many bits of food found in different places, even stuck in the ceiling) Steven, Jasper, Amethyst and Connie hung with each other with their own switches, sitting in the room on bean bags. Each of their Joycons were different. Steven had Pink and Green, Jasper had Orange and Purple, Amethyst had the Smash themed controllers. and Connie just had the classic red and blue.

Truth be told, Steven didn't want Amethyst to play his Animal Crossing, but her own....she and Connie begrudgingly played as Amethyst had never even played it. Or she did...once.

And the most _shocking_ thing of all...

Was that Jasper _loved_ playing Animal Crossing; she felt like the game gave her purpose and so she and Steven often collaborated on many things, like turnip prices and the like. Her island was, of course, called Homeworld. Steven's was Beach City. Amethyst just called hers Boogerland and Connie called hers Rome. 

She sat there, still wearing her belt from the night before, asking Steven and the others for their recipes, their market items and demanded to go Amethyst's island when part of a boxing ring was on it...who refused to part with it. Her salt levels were high enough today to give Pearl a run for her money.

"I'm sure you can recreate Doom if you want...you just gotta use your imagination." Steven said, though it was a thin veil of teasing to go with it.

Amethyst just blew a raspberry.

From that point on...Jasper and Steven would forever be the Tag Team Champions...until the next tourney. And the Peach Amiibo would survive another day.

...and to his luck, Steven's turnips were going for 564 bells that day.

"Can we play Splatoon 2 later?" Jasper asked.

Steven grinned and nodded. Seeing Jasper act like this warmed his heart and freaked the hell out of Amethyst.

Life was good...

**Author's Note:**

> Trivia with the Peach Amiibo.  
> I had particularly strong Peach I used back in the Wii U games and I even used it for a tourney myself and I was eliminated before it was and got me through the second rounds lol.


End file.
